In Search Of...
Introducing myself and my new blog: consciousness expansion--integrating metaphysical with critical thinking, a lifelong journey
On the cusp of 2025, it feels like a good time to start blogging, again. Twenty odd years ago, when I was attending Futurist Salons and Accelerating Change conferences here in the San Francisco Bay Area, we were the small minority talking about things like the Singularity, self-driving cars and AI. We free-flowed with the kind of whimsy that can only be present when it all still feels abstract, distant and fantastical. Well, here we are now, ramping up with lightning fast transformation. Clearly, we are entering a chaotic node in time.
But I’m not here to discuss tech trends, prognosticate or debate. I’m here to relate my experiences and observations related to consciousness esoterica. The answers to my seeking have coalesced through a combination of intense introspection, a natural proclivity toward trance states, entheogenic support and most importantly, the reading of seminal texts (I have compiled a brief list and description of these on the Source Material page). The fact that I have straddled the worlds of science and technology, spirituality and the metaphysical, as well as the so-called alternative realms of gender, sexual and relational diversity—well, I hope to add my unique intersectional contributions to the mix.
Perhaps it’s fitting that unidentified flying objects are flooding the news as of late. Oh my, I never thought I’d be writing about that! But I’m not here to try to break down the rationale for the veracity of any unexplained phenomena—at least, that is not my primary preoccupation. My focus is on sharing what I have gleaned via contact with primary sources and subjective journeying; as well as the intrapsychic processes which these explorations have catalyzed.
When I state that I am not here to debate, it means that this blog will not wade into the weeds of evidence gathering, rationalizing or otherwise presenting a case that life as we know it is only a small slice of the deeper reality. There are innumerable places to engage with such material. This blog is for those who have crossed that river already, yet kept the rigors of their faculties. That exquisite balance of openness and logic, akin to the presence of mind required to wake up into a lucid dream.
For sure, I am not saying that one must leave skepticism at the door. I believe that critical thinking alongside a curious mind is key to activating one’s autonomy and ability to move intentionally through the world. Certainly, I was once on the other side. Meaning that I was a true believer within the confines of contemporary scientific dogma. Before I encountered Jane Roberts’ The Nature of Personal Reality in 2012, I had assumed anything channeled was the result of charlatanism and quackery. The difference-maker was the insight I connected with while digesting Roberts’s material. It was particularly effective at deconstructing the schemas of my self-limiting beliefs, thereby allowing me to overcome decades-long writer’s block. This overruled any reservations regarding the means by which the information had been procured, no matter how ‘goofy’ the idea of channeling higher level consciousness had seemed at first. For as they say, the proof is in the pudding: wisdom being self-evident, and not beholden to our limited ideas of the proper packaging for it. I had yet to understand that truly valuable esoteric information is not covered in gold and so obvious that everyone’s chasing after it. Rather, it is often hidden in plain sight and disguised as trash. Because denigration is such a powerful tool in closing minds, as nobody wants to be played for a fool. The closing of one’s mind is further fueled by identity and status hierarchies, the hallmarks of othering—how well we are all trained to align with the “superior” side of things. Ah yes, this journey into the woo has been most humbling for my ego.
I recall one of the last Futurist Salons I attended, only half-heartedly so as I was already finding greater fruition elsewhere. How I had attempted to engage in a conversation about spirituality with the organizer, an old friend. Watching the light go out in his eyes, once he realized that I was talking about woo. “Oh no, she’s turned into one of those daft new age women,” I could see him thinking. You see, narrow-minded science is another face of zealotry, the other side being religion. We’ve had studies since the ‘60s examining psychic phenomena beyond statistical significance. But tell that to a Newtonian scientist and they will cover their ears and chant, “Na na na,” or glitch with dissonance as they repeatedly demand to be shown the real evidence.
Maybe it’s because I was born in 1973 that I have never felt an inherent conflict between my cerebral faculties and cosmically existential yearnings. This was the era of LSD. I would come to joke that I couldn’t tell if early childhood itself is just innately trippy, or if my own experience was so because it had taken place in the ’70s with all its attendant psychedelia-infused art and attitudes. Indeed, there was something about those times that rose above the typical polarity fray. I remember watching one of my favorite shows, In Search of. It was a docu-series narrated by Leonard Nimoy. A sort of non-fiction X-Files before X-Files, investigating the paranormal from lost-time incidents which hypnotically revealed alien abductions to extrasensory perception and past lives. It never occurred to me that such inquiry could be considered non-rational, what with voice of Spock himself taking me along on this ride. There was an easy innocence to this assumption. The pride of being a scientist in the vein of a ghostbuster. Of course, this did not last for me individually or for society at large. The wave-like pattern of development inexorably wound its way into the period of contraction known as the ‘80s—with its “Just say no to drugs” anthem, so antithetical to psychedelic exploration or other ‘weirdo’ behavior. I remember being a popularity-seeking middle-schooler during the Reagan years, completely dumbfounded when I had come across media from the ‘70s. “Like, why did everyone look so greasy and messy back then?” My reaction was guttural, not overtly political. That’s how the ethos of an era permeates into each and every consciousness—visually, aesthetically, energetically. (I wonder now, if we will make a similar shift during this current transition out of the patchwork vibrancy of the last twenty years into who knows what… another ‘50s throwback?). I don’t believe it’s coincidence that science contracted as well. From openness toward the unknown to the “all spirituality is idiocy” dogma that persists: stuck in binary either/or propositions; the arrogance of atheism versus the truly exploratory spirit of agnosticism.
And so, I have been waiting all these years for a greater convergence of thought between rational inquiry, spirituality and visceral hedonics. Like many others, I am realizing that if I want something to happen, I need to do my part to co-create that reality. Hence, Natural Born Tripper is born. I plan to use this platform to share musings, anecdotes and mini manifestos related to my odyssey here on earth. Since I’m one of those people who constantly thinks about ‘what’s behind the curtain,’ any topic I discuss will likely be within that framework, even if on the surface it may be covering something seemingly mundane or miscellaneous.
My wild heart has lived a rich and varied life here in California—traversing countercultures, engaging in peak epicureanism and deep dives into this amazing, surreal and magical reality. A psychologist in my day job, let’s just say that I’ve had enough hours of adventurous revelry to earn me an honorary PhD in partying. These days, I am more settled into a quiet life enjoying nature and familial companionship. I am also an author of books. Adrift in Adulting, a memoir about my angsty twenties, was published earlier this year. A sci fi novel is my latest work in progress. You can read more on my About page.
One last thing I wanted to mention before signing off on this introductory post. The last time I blogged was during the George W. Bush years, an era where I felt tremendous uncertainty and feared the dark grip of facism. At the time, I was exploring professional domination and writing a kink-related blog. Only later would I realize that my foray into bondage, discipline and sadomasochism was a sort of parallel process with a political reality of waterboarding and “enhanced interrogation,” indefinite detention and unprovoked invasion. Tellingly, the resonance of such work and associated blogging immediately dropped off as soon as we emerged from that administration. Now, as we embark on a similarly uncertain political reality, the reawakening of my urge to blog would seem to have impeccable timing. Through creativity, we attempt to wrest back control in a chaotic world. And despite whatever unfolds out there, I believe artful manifestation can continue to nourish the soul.
Now, I am aware that mentioning the political is touching upon a type of polarity. My intention is not to stake a flag in the ground, or to announce any attachment to affiliation. The truth is, I am part of channeling circles where most of the others are differently aligned politically. In that, I have felt a deep knowing that I am meant to stay in contact with my spiritual sisters, even if I strongly disagree with some of their perspectives. The mystery of polarity and non-duality has not been fully solved by me. It is these sort of everyday confrontations that humble me, teaching me patience as I await further understanding. I do not know what I do not know. Yet I believe in our fundamental Oneness, and humanizing all aspects within our collective rather than cutting off others. To do so is to cut off parts from the whole, thereby negating that part within oneself. The Both-And will very much be a philosophical undercurrent here. Fellow natural born trippers, may we transcend these illusions of separation, connect with wisdom and commune together in our search…
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