The Comedown from Achieving a Lifelong Dream

First story, Mother Tongue, published and an excerpt of Rebooting Eden

Working cover for new short, Rebooting Eden

I am experiencing one of those come-back-to-earth moments that occur in life after chasing after a goal for a very long time—in my case, literally, decades—and finally achieving it. The last time this state overcame me was almost ten years ago with my completion of grad school. But frankly, I never grew up saying I wanted to be a psychologist or therapist. I did grow up saying, yearning, striving towards and getting in my own way regarding embodiment as a fruitful writer. So to finally launch the associated websites, register trademarks and (ha! in my head I hear the drum roll) publish my speculative fiction… You can imagine there is a bit of a comedown afterwards.

We run toward the creative finish line, only thinking of crossing. Now on the other side of it, I recall how the runners collapse afterward, so spent and suddenly aimless of a pursuit. But no worries, this past week has seen the coming and going of a low mood episode that, thankfully, I was able to face and process. It was so helpful to just name it aloud and talk it out with my partner as neutral sounding board. That it is normal to feel a deflation after such an exercise, that the “Now what?” feeling is to be expected. First-hand reminder as to why depression exists within both those who miss the mark of their stated goals and those who actually achieve it. Because neither outcome will give us our worth. That is innate, and we must always remember that.

And so I continue on, inspired by the words of Hugh Howey to just keep writing, publishing and building my body of work. Keeping the “If you build it, they will come” faith. I do believe in an eternal record, within this cosmic computer of a universe. Such that all things matter. Whether humans around me acknowledge it now or later, when I’m alive or long dead. And I believe in the doing for its own sake, in the sense of each creator’s value fulfillment of learning, growth and contribution. Truth and beauty manifested, a slice of something beyond this plane of existence whispering from the words, the sounds, the senses.

So, I’m thrilled to announce that my newest short story, Mother Tongue, is now available on Amazon Kindle and Apple Books. This is the first official release in the Glitchfall Continuum—a speculative fiction series exploring consciousness, technology, and the breakdown of consensus reality.

In Mother Tongue, a decentralized neural phenomenon awakens across the post-sim world: part psychedelic, part spiritual, part viral. The story dives into collective language as a biofeedback loop, refracted through taste, memory, and dissolution. It’s electric, emotional, and a wee bit unsettling.

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Next in the Continuum: Teaser Excerpt from Rebooting Eden

The last humans are pulled out of their respective simulations, where each is spoilt by their unlimited powers. They have become virtually allergic to the awkwardnesses and compromises of negotiating with other people, let alone the perceptual burdens of real life—which they experience as a kind of sensory miasma. But reality’s responsibilites beckon, as DNA degradation has made cloning ineffectual. Thus, they are tasked with engaging in actual reproduction to save the species.

“Around her, others stirred. Seven in total. Pale, startled, and blinking like newborns. Their smooth and plump skin--as well as the spastic rhythm of their awakening limbs, muscle tone maintained through passive cellular activation rather than analog exercise--continued the metaphor of grown-up babies. One had already fallen over in his attempt to vacate his cryo pod. Another was making a mewling sound and appeared to still be regaining his sight. She recognized all of them instantly—not so much their names, which had long become irrelevant—but their avatars from the simspheres.

Rayvene found that she had an almost immediate sense of revulsion as she laid eyes on each of them. Why did they bother her so much more than her legion of AI avatars in sim? The thought sent her to the edge of a feeling she did not like at all. She busied herself with getting somatically oriented, lightly shaking and swaying in an attempt to increase circulation and proprioception. Rayvene found herself grimacing in distaste at what she was experiencing through her direct senses. The sounds, the sights. The smells. It was at once too toned down and dull, while at the same time too raw, too spicy.”

More soon. Thanks for reading my blog, and thanks in advance for supporting independent, mind-bending fiction.

With gratitude,
Josie Valderrama
josievalderrama.com

p.s. I confess that I have this slightly obsessive habit of continuing to tweak my blog entries after publishing. It would seem that I tend to hit the publish button too soon ;)